Last time I talked about rhythm in chatbot poetry. Now I want to talk about rhyme.
I asked ChatGPT to write me a poem “in the style of A. A. Milne,” and this is what it wrote me:
Trees. They do grow. I used a picture of trees last time, when I was talking about rhythm, but they were different trees from these trees.
In the woods, the trees do grow
And the stream flows nice and slow
There's a little bear named Pooh
Who's always up for something new
With his friends, he likes to play
In the Hundred Acre Wood all day
Tigger bounces with great glee
And Piglet hides behind a tree
Rabbit hops around with pride
While Eeyore sits and mopes aside
But they're all friends, you see
In this wonderful land of make-believe
They have adventures, big and small
And they never seem to tire at all
From searching for honey in a hive
To just enjoying a simple drive
So if you're feeling down and blue
Just remember Pooh and his crew
For in their world, there's always fun
And life is never truly done.
I compared that poem to one really written by Milne:
This is literally the same image I used last time, but it’s the image that goes with this poem, so no regrets.
They all went off to discover the Pole,
Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all;
It’s a Thing you Discover, as I’ve been tole
By Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all.
Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh
And Rabbit’s relations all went too—
And where the Pole was none of them knew. …
Sing Hey! for Owl and Rabbit and all!
Milne's rhyme scheme is ababcca:
... the Pole,
... and all;
... been tole
... and all
... and Pooh
... all went too—
... them knew.
…... and all!
The bot's rhyme scheme is aabb ccdd eeff, or we could say aabb for each stanza:
... do grow
... and slow
... named Pooh
... thing new
... to play
... all day
... great glee
... a tree
... with pride
... aside
... you see
... believe
There's nothing inherently wrong with aabb ccdd eeff, but mixing up the pattern like Milne does is definitely more interesting.
I could pick on the weak rhyme of "see" and "believe" in the third stanza, but really I want to pick on all the OTHER rhymes here. The bot chooses banal and obvious rhymes almost always.
What do I mean banal and obvious? The content of the bot’s poem is determined by the need to rhyme.
In the woods, the trees do grow
And the stream flows nice and slow
There's a little bear named Pooh
Who's always up for something new
Why are we mentioning that trees grow. Isn't that obvious? But it's to rhyme with the "slow" in the next line. And why is Pooh up for something new? Is there going to be adventure or novelty in this poem? No, it's to rhyme with "Pooh".
Tigger bounces with great glee
And Piglet hides behind a tree
"Glee" is a weird word here. It's almost right, but not quite, but it rhymes with tree. Most of the rhymes are simple true rhymes of one-syllable words. "Pride/aside" and "see/believe" are the exceptions. "Aside" really makes no sense in the line "While Eeyore sits and mopes aside". What it means is Eeyore is on the sidelines, but that's not really what "aside" means. But it rhymes with pride.
I don’t actually mind the rhyme of "see/believe" at all, except that in the lines:
But they're all friends, you see
In this wonderful land of make-believe
the "you see" is awkward and doesn't really make sense. It's just there to rhyme with "believe" but it doesn’t rhyme with "believe".
Compare actual Milne. His rhyming groups are: Pole/tole, all/all/all, Pooh/too/knew
All/all/all is a chorus. It's not just a rhyming end, the whole line is almost the same each time. That creates cohesion and playfulness, and makes the whole thing feel like a song.That playfulness is the opposite of a forced rhyme.
Next we have Pooh/too/knew:
Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh
And Rabbit’s relations all went too—
And where the Pole was none of them knew. …
This moment is a change in the rhyme scheme, so none of these rhymes feel predictable or expected. We expect another "Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all" after "Pooh", but instead Milne changes the rhyme pattern and also ties the line "Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh" and the next one to the refrain line by expanding on its meaning. Milne uses the inertia of meaning to carry us through the change in the rhyme scheme, and then the inertia of the rhyme scheme to carry us through the next change in meaning.
And finally, "Pole/tole" is definitely a forced rhyme, but it's a freely and playfully forced rhyme instead of a banal and obvious one. "Tole" for "told" is funny. It doesn't read like Milne couldn't think of a rhyme, it reads like he is playing with vocabulary and sounds as a joke.
And there's the next level of analysis we could add to the comparison. So far I've entirely focused on formal considerations, which really is the thing a computer should be best at because it's made up of straightforward rules.
But Milne is fun and funny, and the bot is boring. The key to humour, above all, is surprise. Milne's poem isn't bust-a-gut laughing funny, but it is smile-worthy, because of moments like "Pole/tole" and the repeated refrain, and the "It's a Thing you Discover" and the "Sing Hey!" And surprise is a key to good poetry that isn't trying to be funny, also. In content, the two things that make a poem good (that make any literature good) are the conflicting pulls of familiarity and surprise. We get pleasure from reading something that we already know, that we recognize, that reminds us of the shared nature of human experience. But we also get pleasure from reading something we didn't already know: a new insight, or perspective.
In terms of content, the Milne poem isn't saying anything profound. They went to find the pole, they went all together, they didn't know where it was... yay! But it DOES have a narrative that goes somewhere, a tight focus, and several moments of surprise or reversal.
By contrast, the bot’s poem says nothing and does nothing, except maybe in the last stanza, which suggests that if you, reader, are feeling sad you should feel happier because Pooh and his friends are playing. It's a rehash of the end of The House At Pooh Corner:
“So they went off together. But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing.”
But the bot’s message: “if you're sad remember that Piglet is hiding behind a tree? And that will … help? Because life is never done?” is a hundred acres away from the bittersweet and even melancholy point at the end of the book, where Christopher Robin grows up and leaves childhood behind. The idea is that his childhood stays in the wood, even as he grows up. It manages to suggest that childhood is in some sense eternal while at the same time showing that it is fleeting, and also demonstrating that literature can preserve moments and emotions.
But the bot wants me to remember Pooh when I'm feeling blue … why? For no particular reason, just because it's cute I guess.
There is much more to say, but I'm going to leave it there. If you want someone to spend some serious time and attention helping you make your poetry better, good news! You can hire me for a private two week poetry workshop!